It goes without saying that divorce should be the last resort as a remedy for your relationship. In Texas, a judge can and will grant a divorce if only one spouse wants one. We have seen many people go through the process of filing for divorce then change their mind once the process really gets started and that is messy. Going back on that decision is very difficult and may cause irreparable harm to your relationship. Mr. McCall always suggests marriage counseling, therapy, or even going out on a date before taking the steps to pursue a divorce. Being emotionally charged and impulsive is not the state of mind you want to be in when deciding whether you want to change your whole life. Exhaust every other resource before considering divorce.  

If all other avenues of reconciliation have proven to be fruitless it’s time to focus on documentation. Again, it cannot be overstated how emotional this process can be but remember: it is very emotional and special and unique and new for you; but to the judge, it’s just another day at the office. Whatever you have to say that can’t be proven out through documentation will have little weight in court. Financial account records, both on paper and online, car notes, mortgage documents, investment records, phone records –make a copy of everything and keep it somewhere safe. It is wise to get a copy of all these documents before your spouse has been served papers. Countless divorce cases have been delayed for months and even years because a spouse responded badly to being served papers and made it extremely difficult to gather the necessary records to proceed in court. 

“Who’s going to get the kids?” is most likely the first, and most important thing on parent’s minds when going through a divorce. In every Dallas-Fort Worth family law court, when kids are involved, it is a priority to create a healthy and beneficial situation for the children. Only in extreme circumstances, like physical abuse, drug abuse, incarceration or abandonment will​ child custody not be split between both parents. It is a good idea to take a good look at your schedule and commitments and your kids school and activity schedule and work out a realistic custody goal. If you go into court with a reasonable plan already worked out you will save a lot of time and headaches. 

In most counties in Texas, once a divorce is filed the judge will automatically issue an order preventing either spouse from buying, selling, hiding or moving marital property in a way that would encumber those assets. This is done to prevent one party or the other from draining bank accounts or dissipating the marital property out of spite. So if you’ve been thinking about buying or selling something large like a car or selling rental property it is wise to do that before filing for divorce in Texas. However, you don’t want to do any of those things we just mentioned, like draining the bank accounts, before filing as that will come up in court and will hurt you in the future. 

Often this is the biggest mistake made in the initial phase of a divorce. Things get heated, you pack up your things, get in the car and leave. Not much thought is given to the rest of your stuff because you figure you’ll be able to come back and get it later when this whole divorce thing works itself out in court. This is not the case. Where you are living in the months leading up to the divorce play a large part in who is awarded use of the marital home. It may be difficult, especially if you don’t live in a large home, to continue to live with your spouse, but it is crucial that you consult with an attorney before taking up residence somewhere else and do it properly so you don’t risk losing access to your home. Unless domestic violence was involved or there is a clear issue with safety or judge has ordered you to leave, if you are a joint-owner of the home you have just as much right to live there as your spouse. As with all marital property, it is much easier to convince a judge to let you keep what you have versus taking something from your spouse and giving it to you. The home is no different.  

The guidelines for dating, or being romantically involved with someone else, before the divorce is final vary by county. You must be careful and speak with an attorney about the specifics of your situation. Social media is not your friend. Everything that you do will be under a microscope by your spouse, your spouse’s attorney, and the private investigator that they may have hired to see what you’re up to. It is definitely tempting to live like you’re single the second you leave the relationship, but legally that is dangerous territory. Additionally, before you’re divorced, all of your money is still considered marital property and if you spend a bunch of money on an extra-marital romantic interest in the midst of divorce proceedings the judge can rule that as “dissipation of the marital estate” and order you to reimburse those funds.